The night before my first day of work, I ironed my new dress pants and a nice shirt, straightened my hair to save time in the morning, already packed my bag again to save time, and I slept promptly at 12am to get good 8 hours of sleep. Ofcourse it took me an hour to kill the excitement and doze off. The first time my enthusiasm died at work was when another girl was sitting in the wait room. She too was here for her orientation. Upon reluctantly replying to her happy gestures, I found out she was hired for some other position, and she was a very fresh highschool graduate due to begin University in September. It annoyed me because here I was a B.A in Bioethics going on to Law school getting paid $13 an hour for a research position knowing Miss Chirpy is getting the same thing. I have alot of unemployed friends with graduate degrees in health sciences desperate for jobs and other unemployed professionals are just sulking around. I wonder why they picked her. I feel bad too, poor kid didnt do anything to deserve this, I blame those who hired her. Im sure shes great at her work, but when I see people my age and older than me, much more deserving, it annoys me to see such callousness at work places.
Any how, my orientation lasted less than 5 minutes. I was shown where the 2 washrooms are, where the kitchen is, and finally where I will be sitting. I wasnt introduced to any of the staff members. If anyone has visited this healthcare building, its basically an old church converted into offices. So when you enter, there are built in offices on either sides of the walls with a huge hall in the centre. Since most the staff is administrative, there is a total of maybe ten people working at the same time. Everyone has their own room. Noone gets out of it, except to get food, coffee, water or photocopies.
So finally my hiring manager brought my to my room. It was a pretty decent sized room with 4 desks and 4 office chairs. There was one dell laptop sitting all ready to be switched on. She told me I can get a keyboard if I want, but I'm used to a laptop so I didnt care. Then it happened. She handed me a thick pile of reading material, told me to get aquainted with the organization, and left. It was only 930am. I was going to sit there till 5pm, pretend to read the pile and get paid hourly for reading. I realised then what I had gotten myself into. This would be the story of the next three months.
As time passed by, I learnt to make coffee for myself with the oldest coffee maker there existed, I started to switch on the a.c in my room because it got stuffy. I began using the half n half cream in the fridge, because I realised its provided by the office for employees, its to share! I realised my boss is a very big perfectionist and my opinions hold no value to hers. I realised to cc the whole world what I am writing to one person even if concerns noone else. I realised if I go out for cofee or lunch people can come spy on me a few times and email me that i've gone missing (thank god for blackberries!).
Since I have noone to talk to, my mother would call me every few hours hours, then my father would call me. One day I was on the verge of loosing it. My boss and hiring manager, who are literally 4 steps from my office emailed me six times a day asking for petty details. "Could you see this?" "Can you send this?" "Can you cc it to everyone" "Can we meet on Thursday instead of Friday" "Can you please confirm". Amidst this electronic mode of communication I was so desperate for human contact that I approached one of the ladies in the H.R finance department. I saw her a few weeks back laughing. The only one of her kind. I knew I could talk to her. I almost broke down in her office. I told her I couldnt handle it, and the atmosphere is hauntingly unfriendly. I dont feel respected, appreciated or acknowledged. Its soo awkward with everyone. She shared the secret of isolating herself from this place and how she remains positive. She has been working here long enough to know the nature of her co-workers and deal with them. She doesnt speak to anyone unneccesarily, keeps to herself, and goes home to an amazing husband. On weekends, they go to Baltimore sometimes to see a soccer match. She is truly an amazing woman, and if it wasnt for her, i'd have a nervous breakdown ages ago.
Now, three months have passed at this internship. I dont want a recomendation letter, I dont want respect or acknowledgment. I just want out. I realised that I am only 21, and I am glad I had this experience. It made me realise that I can never work in an isolated environment. Secondly, I can never do something I dont enjoy. I need to be motivated, creatively challenged in order to perform to my best abilities.
Friends and family find me ungreatful and lacking professionalism. I agree that maybe I need to suck it up a little and accept that in life nothing is achieved without scrubbing the floor a little. But I also believe that each experience teaches you alot about your future prospects. Its not all about getting a job. Yes money is important. I agree. But I was happier at a lower paying job at a library where I knew my colleagues, we spoke, had a rapport with the patrons and I actually dressed up for work! Right now, all I can think of is a nap when I go home,and laundry, because im going to wear black sweats to work tomorrow. Why? Because they are comfortable to sit in for 8 hours a day. I'd dress up, but noone does, and noone cares, so why spend time on yourself to sit in a room all day long.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Feminism Shmeninism
I just read an article in one of Pakistan's local news paper of how the "language" spoken demeans women and women rights. Mostly it was an attack on the "male" using inappropriate words for females. Then the article went on to discuss women's rights in detail and embark upon a whole history of inferiority faced by women.
At 21 years of age, and fresh out of a reputed university with a bachelors degree I refuse to fall into the web of female lamenting over lack of equality and opportunity. I refuse to believe the bias exists to such an extent that the whole world is against us.
When a girl goes out for a job interview, in North America or Pakistan, all she has to do is dress up, speak good English and her chances of getting a job are far better than any educated man. Mostly because firms need to attract client, and female employees that too good looking ones with impressive resumes are the key. Moreover firms are often targetted to have an imbalanced ratio, so women in this century especially are given preference. Men can complain, they can accuse and strike on this matter because it is a big deal especially since jobs are soo rare. But they dont. They instead choose to compete with women. If a woman gets rejected over a man in a promotion or employment its immediately a sexist issue.
That is not to say education isnt an important tool. Womens education is given far less importance by women themselves. Or after education, their implentation into jobs is further ignored. I have five cousins, who got married to very wealthy men. All five girls have graduated from Karachi University in something or the other. They are now housewives constantly complaining of the monotonous lives they live. My mother on the otherhand, who symbolizes a whole other generation got married after completing her masters and working for four years at a pharmaceutical company. Even after marriage she worked for twenty-five years as a teacher and hopes to continue. Her father was not a liberal minded individual but thanks to all female schools and my mother's ambitous attitude he let her do what she liked. So I am just telling you that the choices we make are not levied upon us most of the time. The complaining housewives, which are soo many in number conveniently blame society or their husbands for their dull lives. Not just in Pakistan but everywhere. They dont realise the meaning of individuality. I understand that for some women their husbands are too controlling or their fathers have never let them study but where was their own brain? Yes some extreme cases of fundamentalism are a different story for another day but to tell me that one cannot break free of male domination because of lack of confidence is just a shame on that woman. 'Speaking against your husband is wrong', 'talking back to your inlaws is wrong','speaking against your father is wrong', wrong for whom?! Whose rules are we following here? And why? Why dont we use our own brain and justify our actions through logic and practicality. Its like when we meet a teenage beggar on the streets of Karachi and my mother tells her "come home with us i'll give u a good job and a house to live in " she runs away like we asked her for prostitution. If they dont trust us, its their problem, we dont trust them either but we are giving them a shot atleast. Similarly women need to take that chance to endeavor and try and if all else fails then complain. But dont complain without trying.
Another issue that irritated me was the case of rape victims. I understand it is a henous crime and no justification can be given for it. However women have to stop accsing every man of commiting rape or supporting it. Women mostly standing at corners of streets waiting to be picked up for sex do not reflect me as a woman. Similarly one man who rapes or gang rapes does not reflect every man out there. Why are we forgetting individuality and falling prey to this generalisation. Its the equivalent of saying all muslims are terrorists. If a woman was gangraped or raped, she should have enough individuality in her to go and complain or her associates should complain on her behalf and accuse the criminal. Women are so caught up being scared, ashamed and mentally torn apart after this incident that instead of counselling them and gathering their wrecklessness to bring them back to life, women activists begin charging streets and parliaments in cry of expanding women rights and accusing the politicians of biasness. Arent we missing the point here? Doesnt she need more help personally right now than politically? Does she really care if women get two more seats in the parliament or judiciary? She needs psychological help to recover from the trauma. She needs financial support because clearly no man would any time soon marry her(she doesnt have to be the third wife of some sick minded landowner). She needs to know that despite what happened, life goes on. And despite what happened she can be her own personality. Also at times like these her family needs to be taken care of too. But women who know all this are too busy fighting the world for equality and justice while a family erodes away into misery and eternal depression.
I ask you, what are women fighting for? Is it equality? I dont think so. I work at a healthcare organization in Canada which is dominated by women. Furthermore I worked at a radio station in Pakistan which was being run by a very successful well connected woman. I also worked at a Law firm in Karachi which had majority women working in it. My father worked for a multi-national company whose chairman was also a woman. Our top actresses today have become soo successful they each have a talk show, and that makes them influential and popular. Furthermore they have turned producers and directors for movies and television which gives them soo much power and control. So I ask you what are women fighting for really?
If you go to a coorporate party in Canada or Pakistan, a well educated, learned woman has the power to engross the entire crowd. Men look up to those women, and hope that their wives or sisters can reach that stature because its just a matter of hard work and commitment which women shy away from due to domestic responsibilities. Successful women are out there in huge numbers. Those fighting for equality are actually portraying women negatively to show we are a sad, pathetic, slaved sex in need for retribution. When in fact we are fine and we dont need anyones help or signature of papers to give us more say or rights. We have it all, we just dont use it. Or we can have it all , we just want the easy way out.
At 21 years of age, and fresh out of a reputed university with a bachelors degree I refuse to fall into the web of female lamenting over lack of equality and opportunity. I refuse to believe the bias exists to such an extent that the whole world is against us.
When a girl goes out for a job interview, in North America or Pakistan, all she has to do is dress up, speak good English and her chances of getting a job are far better than any educated man. Mostly because firms need to attract client, and female employees that too good looking ones with impressive resumes are the key. Moreover firms are often targetted to have an imbalanced ratio, so women in this century especially are given preference. Men can complain, they can accuse and strike on this matter because it is a big deal especially since jobs are soo rare. But they dont. They instead choose to compete with women. If a woman gets rejected over a man in a promotion or employment its immediately a sexist issue.
That is not to say education isnt an important tool. Womens education is given far less importance by women themselves. Or after education, their implentation into jobs is further ignored. I have five cousins, who got married to very wealthy men. All five girls have graduated from Karachi University in something or the other. They are now housewives constantly complaining of the monotonous lives they live. My mother on the otherhand, who symbolizes a whole other generation got married after completing her masters and working for four years at a pharmaceutical company. Even after marriage she worked for twenty-five years as a teacher and hopes to continue. Her father was not a liberal minded individual but thanks to all female schools and my mother's ambitous attitude he let her do what she liked. So I am just telling you that the choices we make are not levied upon us most of the time. The complaining housewives, which are soo many in number conveniently blame society or their husbands for their dull lives. Not just in Pakistan but everywhere. They dont realise the meaning of individuality. I understand that for some women their husbands are too controlling or their fathers have never let them study but where was their own brain? Yes some extreme cases of fundamentalism are a different story for another day but to tell me that one cannot break free of male domination because of lack of confidence is just a shame on that woman. 'Speaking against your husband is wrong', 'talking back to your inlaws is wrong','speaking against your father is wrong', wrong for whom?! Whose rules are we following here? And why? Why dont we use our own brain and justify our actions through logic and practicality. Its like when we meet a teenage beggar on the streets of Karachi and my mother tells her "come home with us i'll give u a good job and a house to live in " she runs away like we asked her for prostitution. If they dont trust us, its their problem, we dont trust them either but we are giving them a shot atleast. Similarly women need to take that chance to endeavor and try and if all else fails then complain. But dont complain without trying.
Another issue that irritated me was the case of rape victims. I understand it is a henous crime and no justification can be given for it. However women have to stop accsing every man of commiting rape or supporting it. Women mostly standing at corners of streets waiting to be picked up for sex do not reflect me as a woman. Similarly one man who rapes or gang rapes does not reflect every man out there. Why are we forgetting individuality and falling prey to this generalisation. Its the equivalent of saying all muslims are terrorists. If a woman was gangraped or raped, she should have enough individuality in her to go and complain or her associates should complain on her behalf and accuse the criminal. Women are so caught up being scared, ashamed and mentally torn apart after this incident that instead of counselling them and gathering their wrecklessness to bring them back to life, women activists begin charging streets and parliaments in cry of expanding women rights and accusing the politicians of biasness. Arent we missing the point here? Doesnt she need more help personally right now than politically? Does she really care if women get two more seats in the parliament or judiciary? She needs psychological help to recover from the trauma. She needs financial support because clearly no man would any time soon marry her(she doesnt have to be the third wife of some sick minded landowner). She needs to know that despite what happened, life goes on. And despite what happened she can be her own personality. Also at times like these her family needs to be taken care of too. But women who know all this are too busy fighting the world for equality and justice while a family erodes away into misery and eternal depression.
I ask you, what are women fighting for? Is it equality? I dont think so. I work at a healthcare organization in Canada which is dominated by women. Furthermore I worked at a radio station in Pakistan which was being run by a very successful well connected woman. I also worked at a Law firm in Karachi which had majority women working in it. My father worked for a multi-national company whose chairman was also a woman. Our top actresses today have become soo successful they each have a talk show, and that makes them influential and popular. Furthermore they have turned producers and directors for movies and television which gives them soo much power and control. So I ask you what are women fighting for really?
If you go to a coorporate party in Canada or Pakistan, a well educated, learned woman has the power to engross the entire crowd. Men look up to those women, and hope that their wives or sisters can reach that stature because its just a matter of hard work and commitment which women shy away from due to domestic responsibilities. Successful women are out there in huge numbers. Those fighting for equality are actually portraying women negatively to show we are a sad, pathetic, slaved sex in need for retribution. When in fact we are fine and we dont need anyones help or signature of papers to give us more say or rights. We have it all, we just dont use it. Or we can have it all , we just want the easy way out.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Coke Studio
The first time I knew coke studio existed was last year. I was sitting in the library during exams 'youtubing'. I came across a video of Ali Azmat and Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. I knew instantly this would be something out of this world. And yes it was. One of the strongest vocals I have ever heard coming together to create extraordinary music. I googled coke studio and found their own website and realised what a massive project this was.
Now I am proud to say that I am a huge fan and a regular follower of the music produced by coke studio. For students abroad youtube is a great way to transport this brilliance. We are not only deprived of good Pakistani music but also distressed with daily news of bombs and terrorism. Coke studio comes as a distraction for us to appreciate the good in our country. The talent, the brilliance and the sophistication of our media.
At the same time coke studio tells the story of Pakistan. It brings together the 'yo' boys and girls of Lahore and Karachi with the rural classical singers showing the diversity that is Pakistan. Atif Aslam might wear a red tie on a casual shirt and Noori would be wearing labeled jackets but the classical maestros sit on the floor with their harmoniums, or in Saaen Zahoors case wear turbans and traditional outfits. Its not so much a class difference that is being shown, in fact its a cultural contrast.
The best thing about this show is that I can watch it with family without any of us getting bored. My dad gets glued to the music each time the sufi bits start and I keep humming along with an Atif or a Noori vocal.
Every singer in this show is trying to out-do themselves because they know they have one shot. They also know that in a short time they have to create something memorable. I saw this in Atif's performance in 'Jal Pari' and 'Kinara'. That boy sang his heart out. I was never an Atif fan mostly because I thought his voice was squeaky and one dimensional. But after his performance at Coke Studio I was awestruck. Besides, being a part of the best production house, the best producer, best drummer,guitarist,pianist,violinist,classical singer and sound quality he knows expectations are running high.
Coke studio has done what noone was able to do. Break the egos of superstar singers and bring them together with the forgotten classical musicians. I had never heard of Riaz Ali Khan or heard Saeen Zahoor's music even though I knew he existed. Upon googling their biographies I realised how popular they are however because they dont have that sort of media exposure, they have a low profile. But this forum has made my generation aware of the talent and musical genius that exists other than Jal, Roxen, Josh etc. It has given these people recognition and respect they deserve from our nation because now they are recognized in every households.
Also what I love about Coke Studio is that the set is such that every individual music contributor is visible to the audience and we see the talent and hard work put in by the whole team. I was touched by the person beautifully playing the Violen, mutka's and dhol because they are never in videos or concerts. Only guitarists, drummers and pianists get the limelight.
In conclusion, Coke Studio has come as a breath of fresh air. Everytime I think "oh they must have ran out of singer combinations" I am totally left speechless at the next combo. If I had to pick a favorite, I would say Noori and Saaen Zahoor's "Eik Alif", Atif's "Jal Pari" and "Kinara".
I can't wait to see whats coming up next!
Now I am proud to say that I am a huge fan and a regular follower of the music produced by coke studio. For students abroad youtube is a great way to transport this brilliance. We are not only deprived of good Pakistani music but also distressed with daily news of bombs and terrorism. Coke studio comes as a distraction for us to appreciate the good in our country. The talent, the brilliance and the sophistication of our media.
At the same time coke studio tells the story of Pakistan. It brings together the 'yo' boys and girls of Lahore and Karachi with the rural classical singers showing the diversity that is Pakistan. Atif Aslam might wear a red tie on a casual shirt and Noori would be wearing labeled jackets but the classical maestros sit on the floor with their harmoniums, or in Saaen Zahoors case wear turbans and traditional outfits. Its not so much a class difference that is being shown, in fact its a cultural contrast.
The best thing about this show is that I can watch it with family without any of us getting bored. My dad gets glued to the music each time the sufi bits start and I keep humming along with an Atif or a Noori vocal.
Every singer in this show is trying to out-do themselves because they know they have one shot. They also know that in a short time they have to create something memorable. I saw this in Atif's performance in 'Jal Pari' and 'Kinara'. That boy sang his heart out. I was never an Atif fan mostly because I thought his voice was squeaky and one dimensional. But after his performance at Coke Studio I was awestruck. Besides, being a part of the best production house, the best producer, best drummer,guitarist,pianist,violinist,classical singer and sound quality he knows expectations are running high.
Coke studio has done what noone was able to do. Break the egos of superstar singers and bring them together with the forgotten classical musicians. I had never heard of Riaz Ali Khan or heard Saeen Zahoor's music even though I knew he existed. Upon googling their biographies I realised how popular they are however because they dont have that sort of media exposure, they have a low profile. But this forum has made my generation aware of the talent and musical genius that exists other than Jal, Roxen, Josh etc. It has given these people recognition and respect they deserve from our nation because now they are recognized in every households.
Also what I love about Coke Studio is that the set is such that every individual music contributor is visible to the audience and we see the talent and hard work put in by the whole team. I was touched by the person beautifully playing the Violen, mutka's and dhol because they are never in videos or concerts. Only guitarists, drummers and pianists get the limelight.
In conclusion, Coke Studio has come as a breath of fresh air. Everytime I think "oh they must have ran out of singer combinations" I am totally left speechless at the next combo. If I had to pick a favorite, I would say Noori and Saaen Zahoor's "Eik Alif", Atif's "Jal Pari" and "Kinara".
I can't wait to see whats coming up next!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
A Soap Opera, only it’s real
note: I wrote this article a year back, and each year we grow older and wiser. Some comments may seem to farfetched but this was a time I was deeply frustrated and shocked since Pakistan's future seemed uncertain.
I live outside of Pakistan for three years now, and yet my heart bleeds at the sight of every news page I open whether it is Dawn, The News or even BBC. The mockery made out of our political system, and the greed for power by the bad guys and eventually their rise reminds me of those television soap operas where the villain rises to the occasion fooling all those around him/her and only us the viewers know who is the true criminal in the house. I grew up in that country, it was my home, and now I can’t think of going back. And I blame all you politicians for your selfishness and illiteracy of focusing on only things important to you.
When President Musharraf came to power, I remember the whole scenario of the coup of how it was breaking news, and what a hero the nation made him. Soon I saw the changes around me. Streets had names now, and directional banners were laid out around Karachi. I was very proud. Construction was peaking, and roads were good. Economy was stable and we were all happy. Then came 9/11, and we all knew Pakistan was in trouble. But it was at that time he made critical decision. He sided with the U.S to fight terrorism which is what any person in his place would do. It’s easy to talk now but seriously think about it. You’re at work, and a fellow Muslim employee murders a non-Muslim employee in front of you. Would you defend the murderer just because he’s Muslim? Would you not give a testimony? Of course you would if you’re a person with some morals and sensibility. And we are talking about United States of America. A country so successful that it’s legal for them to be proud. So back to this military man who changed the fate of our country. A few years passed and then a few more and then it was a dictatorship. Should he have left gracefully when Pakistan was doing well? I guess so, but each to his own. Did he? No. He stuck to it. Just like Macbeth, usurped by his own power. Again let us remind ourselves that he is only human. Power is a taste that just grows in ones mouth. He stuck on till eventually he was disrespectfully overruled and forced to step back. The man we made a hero was a man we made the enemy. The poor cursed him for making everything too expensive, the rich accused him of being too stringent, the business man accused him of toppling the economy, and the army accused him of neglect. Understandable, everyone was hurt by the oil prices and they needed someone to blame.
After a lot of insult, international mockery, and humiliation of this man, old enough to be my father the elections took place. Benazir Bhutto was murdered. Her husband suddenly rose to power. Wow, a whole new regime happened. Are you happy now? I guess not. Not till the President is further humiliated and accused of horrid things and charged. I have not read his biography therefore I am not sympathizing with him for any reason but rationale. I am not saying hes a hero. The man we are concerned here is an ordinary guy, who after completing his education at Forman Christian College; Lahore devoted his life to the army and fought in wars for our country. His son graduated from Stanford and doing very well for himself. His daughter is an architect by profession. They are a family just like any of us, educated and respectful.
Whereas the man currently more powerful than our President, and the co-chairman of the leading political party is equally impressive or maybe more to you Musharraf haters. The most interesting on record piece of information about him written on BBC was that his rise to fame was due to operating a private “disco” at home and his reputation as a “playboy”. Moreover after excessive googling I did not find any significant educational background, like a college degree or even a diploma in something substantial. But its okay, you elected his party, knowing he would be King, maybe you know more about him than the internet does. But what I did find in various results were corruption charges, jail terms, bank fraud and many other things we all know are true but we like to pretend there is a halo on top of his head. Seriously you educated and non-educated people, you shock me. You want a leader, who has no educational background to make informed political decisions, who as a history of fraud and corruption to the extent that he was banned from entering the very country he claims to run. There are such educated sensible experienced people in his party yet he chooses himself to go on the forefront and you say nothing.
Then there is the other guy, from another party, who is let’s face it, only seeking revenge. He knows hes not wanted, but he also knows he is an asset to the leading party because currently they share common hatred towards Musharraf who revealed their true colors. This ex-Prime Minister holds a law degree but yet fails to follow it himself. He too has been charged under corruption charges, and is heavily fined and was also at the end of his PM term exiled to Saudi Arabia. If none of those charges were true, if he was such a great leader as he claims, why was their no trial held? Why did he not get the best lawyers to fight for him? Why did his people not mourn his departure? Why did he contently exile for many many years?
Ever Since President Musharraf lost his credibility in politics and these “masters of diplomacy” came to power how much has the country changed? And who has benefited? The economy is depleting faster than ever, food prices are sky high, inflation is irreversible, poverty is to the point that stealing is as common as draught. What have these men done for you? Which school did they open for the poor, which charity organization did they create, which sport did they encourage, what new security measures have they created so that you sleep securely at night not worrying when the next round of burglars would cross your street? What have they done for you culturally, educationally, socially and most of all politically? Our country is internally bleeding, and all they seem to care is to impeach the President. It was the sad act of this President who actually allowed them back into this country, and I think his biggest mistake till date. Time is running out. So are good educated personnel. The rich can fly away, and the poor have to suffer. We are a shameful nation where a Pakistani wants to hurt another Pakistani. We are regressing while the world is progressing. We stabbed ourselves with this new regime. It’s only a matter of time before we cripple. I can’t step foot in a country where I don’t respect the leaders, I don’t trust their intentions, and I don’t care for their selfish opinions. I don’t know why people act oblivious to this parade of evil taking place every single day affecting every single one of us. It makes me sad to feel so repelled by my own country when im not the one who ever tried to harm it, or had a history of exile or prison.
I don’t want to suggest a remedy, but I did feel compelled to shed light on the credentials of those people leading our country today. We should know who they are, what they did, and how did they get here. Because otherwise we are just a bunch of blind mice led into the lake by the pied piper and in our story, we are not the cause of trouble.
I live outside of Pakistan for three years now, and yet my heart bleeds at the sight of every news page I open whether it is Dawn, The News or even BBC. The mockery made out of our political system, and the greed for power by the bad guys and eventually their rise reminds me of those television soap operas where the villain rises to the occasion fooling all those around him/her and only us the viewers know who is the true criminal in the house. I grew up in that country, it was my home, and now I can’t think of going back. And I blame all you politicians for your selfishness and illiteracy of focusing on only things important to you.
When President Musharraf came to power, I remember the whole scenario of the coup of how it was breaking news, and what a hero the nation made him. Soon I saw the changes around me. Streets had names now, and directional banners were laid out around Karachi. I was very proud. Construction was peaking, and roads were good. Economy was stable and we were all happy. Then came 9/11, and we all knew Pakistan was in trouble. But it was at that time he made critical decision. He sided with the U.S to fight terrorism which is what any person in his place would do. It’s easy to talk now but seriously think about it. You’re at work, and a fellow Muslim employee murders a non-Muslim employee in front of you. Would you defend the murderer just because he’s Muslim? Would you not give a testimony? Of course you would if you’re a person with some morals and sensibility. And we are talking about United States of America. A country so successful that it’s legal for them to be proud. So back to this military man who changed the fate of our country. A few years passed and then a few more and then it was a dictatorship. Should he have left gracefully when Pakistan was doing well? I guess so, but each to his own. Did he? No. He stuck to it. Just like Macbeth, usurped by his own power. Again let us remind ourselves that he is only human. Power is a taste that just grows in ones mouth. He stuck on till eventually he was disrespectfully overruled and forced to step back. The man we made a hero was a man we made the enemy. The poor cursed him for making everything too expensive, the rich accused him of being too stringent, the business man accused him of toppling the economy, and the army accused him of neglect. Understandable, everyone was hurt by the oil prices and they needed someone to blame.
After a lot of insult, international mockery, and humiliation of this man, old enough to be my father the elections took place. Benazir Bhutto was murdered. Her husband suddenly rose to power. Wow, a whole new regime happened. Are you happy now? I guess not. Not till the President is further humiliated and accused of horrid things and charged. I have not read his biography therefore I am not sympathizing with him for any reason but rationale. I am not saying hes a hero. The man we are concerned here is an ordinary guy, who after completing his education at Forman Christian College; Lahore devoted his life to the army and fought in wars for our country. His son graduated from Stanford and doing very well for himself. His daughter is an architect by profession. They are a family just like any of us, educated and respectful.
Whereas the man currently more powerful than our President, and the co-chairman of the leading political party is equally impressive or maybe more to you Musharraf haters. The most interesting on record piece of information about him written on BBC was that his rise to fame was due to operating a private “disco” at home and his reputation as a “playboy”. Moreover after excessive googling I did not find any significant educational background, like a college degree or even a diploma in something substantial. But its okay, you elected his party, knowing he would be King, maybe you know more about him than the internet does. But what I did find in various results were corruption charges, jail terms, bank fraud and many other things we all know are true but we like to pretend there is a halo on top of his head. Seriously you educated and non-educated people, you shock me. You want a leader, who has no educational background to make informed political decisions, who as a history of fraud and corruption to the extent that he was banned from entering the very country he claims to run. There are such educated sensible experienced people in his party yet he chooses himself to go on the forefront and you say nothing.
Then there is the other guy, from another party, who is let’s face it, only seeking revenge. He knows hes not wanted, but he also knows he is an asset to the leading party because currently they share common hatred towards Musharraf who revealed their true colors. This ex-Prime Minister holds a law degree but yet fails to follow it himself. He too has been charged under corruption charges, and is heavily fined and was also at the end of his PM term exiled to Saudi Arabia. If none of those charges were true, if he was such a great leader as he claims, why was their no trial held? Why did he not get the best lawyers to fight for him? Why did his people not mourn his departure? Why did he contently exile for many many years?
Ever Since President Musharraf lost his credibility in politics and these “masters of diplomacy” came to power how much has the country changed? And who has benefited? The economy is depleting faster than ever, food prices are sky high, inflation is irreversible, poverty is to the point that stealing is as common as draught. What have these men done for you? Which school did they open for the poor, which charity organization did they create, which sport did they encourage, what new security measures have they created so that you sleep securely at night not worrying when the next round of burglars would cross your street? What have they done for you culturally, educationally, socially and most of all politically? Our country is internally bleeding, and all they seem to care is to impeach the President. It was the sad act of this President who actually allowed them back into this country, and I think his biggest mistake till date. Time is running out. So are good educated personnel. The rich can fly away, and the poor have to suffer. We are a shameful nation where a Pakistani wants to hurt another Pakistani. We are regressing while the world is progressing. We stabbed ourselves with this new regime. It’s only a matter of time before we cripple. I can’t step foot in a country where I don’t respect the leaders, I don’t trust their intentions, and I don’t care for their selfish opinions. I don’t know why people act oblivious to this parade of evil taking place every single day affecting every single one of us. It makes me sad to feel so repelled by my own country when im not the one who ever tried to harm it, or had a history of exile or prison.
I don’t want to suggest a remedy, but I did feel compelled to shed light on the credentials of those people leading our country today. We should know who they are, what they did, and how did they get here. Because otherwise we are just a bunch of blind mice led into the lake by the pied piper and in our story, we are not the cause of trouble.
The Value of Lays...
In Pakistan, the culture is such that if anyone is going somewhere you have loved ones you are bound to burden them with gifts to take on your behalf. There are two reasons for that. Firstly, we are too cheap to parcel things through regular mail. Secondly we always have something or the other to send, even if its a letter, or cash or chocolate. May be its a way of telling those far away from us that we remember them, or maybe its a way for us to tell ourselves that we still have a connection to what we left long time ago.
Anyway, a friend of mine was leaving for Karachi today. I handed her an American Eagle bag (intentionally, so the reciever recognizes the brand) with random selection of things in it. At that time I was super excited but upon reflection I realised the items were so basic and unnecessary yet they symbolised so much.
The first thing I bought for my sister and aunt were electronic toothbrushes. Yes you may be thinking Pakistan isnt that deprived, especially the up and coming metropolitan Karachi. There are electronic toothbrushes in Karachi, probably cheaper also. But knowing the lifestyle of those back home, I doubt they would indulge in such shopping. To them its just a toothbrush whether manual or electronic. To them its a waste of time and money to go buy. I sent it because I wanted to share this technology with them. If I can use it, they can use it. Its a way of connecting for me to be able to share this little joy of easy brushing. Moreover I know a little gesture of mine would make my aunt a proud lady infront of her husband and her loved ones that her niece sent her something "cool" from Canada.
The next item worth detailing was EXCEL gum, in a tick tack box easy to carry around. Again its one of those things im sure pakistan has but I felt like sending it. When I was in Karachi and our uncle would visit us from America, we would wait anxiously for our respective ziplock packs of chocolate with carefull divided goodies so that everyone gets the same. I remember eating the m and m's soo gladly and compared to the "foreign" goodies, local chocolates seemed and were infact of inferior quality. Also once again my aunt, who is my life and my everything is a very cute woman with a teenager's heart. I know she will carry the gum in her purse and give one to her husband and eat one herself on their long journey from Gulshan to Defense everyday. Also, chewing gum is an essential component in my purse, car and dollar store shopping. I wanted to share it with them I guess.
The last item I want to talk about are chips. I was unable to send chips because the very kind sender although did offer, but did not have space and there was a last minute confusion as to how she should stuff the inflated back of Munchies. However I remember sending chips a while before. Once again, Lays and Doritos are available in Karachi, at big supermarkets on sky high prices. But because of the prices, average people dont buy them. They stick to the RS35 Kings chips or Nimco. The first time I took back a Party Mix I remember my relatives went insane. Each chip eaten was followed with ten praises. Not only praise for chips but quality of Canadian goodies. After that I tried to send them as many times I could. In Pakistan any form of food is always welcome. We are gladly self-fattening people very proud of our eating heritage. On top of that if an item has an added "foreign" brand attached to it.. its a definate hit. Moreover my aunt and I used to be junk-a-holics when I was in Pakistan. Always eating samosa's, chaat, sandwhiches, chips etc. Once again I guess this is also to remind her that I miss her whenever I eat chips.
In the end I wonder how much of it is to make them happy and how much of it is to remind myself that I am not yet disconnected from that life? Whatever the answer, I think it doesnt matter. The recievers will get the joy of presents, which always feels good to get, and I as the sender recieve the pleasure of making a connection. Its a win win all the way.
Anyway, a friend of mine was leaving for Karachi today. I handed her an American Eagle bag (intentionally, so the reciever recognizes the brand) with random selection of things in it. At that time I was super excited but upon reflection I realised the items were so basic and unnecessary yet they symbolised so much.
The first thing I bought for my sister and aunt were electronic toothbrushes. Yes you may be thinking Pakistan isnt that deprived, especially the up and coming metropolitan Karachi. There are electronic toothbrushes in Karachi, probably cheaper also. But knowing the lifestyle of those back home, I doubt they would indulge in such shopping. To them its just a toothbrush whether manual or electronic. To them its a waste of time and money to go buy. I sent it because I wanted to share this technology with them. If I can use it, they can use it. Its a way of connecting for me to be able to share this little joy of easy brushing. Moreover I know a little gesture of mine would make my aunt a proud lady infront of her husband and her loved ones that her niece sent her something "cool" from Canada.
The next item worth detailing was EXCEL gum, in a tick tack box easy to carry around. Again its one of those things im sure pakistan has but I felt like sending it. When I was in Karachi and our uncle would visit us from America, we would wait anxiously for our respective ziplock packs of chocolate with carefull divided goodies so that everyone gets the same. I remember eating the m and m's soo gladly and compared to the "foreign" goodies, local chocolates seemed and were infact of inferior quality. Also once again my aunt, who is my life and my everything is a very cute woman with a teenager's heart. I know she will carry the gum in her purse and give one to her husband and eat one herself on their long journey from Gulshan to Defense everyday. Also, chewing gum is an essential component in my purse, car and dollar store shopping. I wanted to share it with them I guess.
The last item I want to talk about are chips. I was unable to send chips because the very kind sender although did offer, but did not have space and there was a last minute confusion as to how she should stuff the inflated back of Munchies. However I remember sending chips a while before. Once again, Lays and Doritos are available in Karachi, at big supermarkets on sky high prices. But because of the prices, average people dont buy them. They stick to the RS35 Kings chips or Nimco. The first time I took back a Party Mix I remember my relatives went insane. Each chip eaten was followed with ten praises. Not only praise for chips but quality of Canadian goodies. After that I tried to send them as many times I could. In Pakistan any form of food is always welcome. We are gladly self-fattening people very proud of our eating heritage. On top of that if an item has an added "foreign" brand attached to it.. its a definate hit. Moreover my aunt and I used to be junk-a-holics when I was in Pakistan. Always eating samosa's, chaat, sandwhiches, chips etc. Once again I guess this is also to remind her that I miss her whenever I eat chips.
In the end I wonder how much of it is to make them happy and how much of it is to remind myself that I am not yet disconnected from that life? Whatever the answer, I think it doesnt matter. The recievers will get the joy of presents, which always feels good to get, and I as the sender recieve the pleasure of making a connection. Its a win win all the way.
Show Me the Moneyy!
If you dare to drive through the streets of downtown Toronto, nearly every intersection, every corner will embrace you with heavy duty construction. And not just any construction, the images on the sidewalk billboards will tell you that they are building the highest condo in the history of downtown. So much so, that they did not even leave a church parking lot which will soon ruin the convenience of many Sunday visitors, and also a bit of greenery. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Queens Park has been sold for a billion dollar project to build the biggest brightest condos ever! Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of condos. I have lived in them for three years straight now and I think they are convenient, well maintained (though very over priced). But just like smoking becomes an addiction, so does living in downtown, and then you just can’t leave and are willing to pay the price for it. My concern is that Toronto already has crammed streets, crazy cab drivers, no parking spaces and no greenery. What is least needed is amplification of this tragedy by building more condominiums, so that if you ever try to look up and breath a gush of fresh air, all you get is pollution to kill you and wind tunnels that would blow an underweight person away.
These days due to lack of space buildings have either a small, or no drive way. People actually block traffic to go into their garage which sometimes opens on the main road! In some buildings, in order to leave, regardless of an emergency, a death, a deadline you have to take a right, rome around three blocks and find your way back to wherever you wanted to go. So the price you pay for already living in an overpriced building is that you cannot take a “left” when you get out or pay a fine. It helps traffic yes, it wastes your gas yes. But hey your building has a gym you don’t need membership for so yayi!
Some of these buildings are hilarious. My agent showed me an apartment recently where the building was under construction but people were already living in it. There was no concierge, or security. In fact the security desk hadn’t been made, but a clear white paint outlined where they would sit. Without exaggeration, I entered the apartment and to my right was a wall, and to my left was the kitchen. A further walk ahead to my right was the living room and to my left was the master bedroom. Between the door and the living room there is literally a walk way I couldn’t stretch open my hands in. What upset me the most was that the kitchen, which is the most frequently, visited area in the house (after the toilet) was shoved in a corner like they forgot to make it till the very end. This is just a glimpse of how small the apartments are being built currently. Their design is a square box which apparently they needed “foreign architects” for.
Regardless of my criticism, these condominiums are being bought. But mostly by foreign investors, or immigrants who escaped with their load of gold while their country was on the brink of collapse. But for those of you who worked hard and bought yourself an apartment downtown good for you, but there aren’t many of your kind. To want luxury is one thing, to afford it is another, and to provide it at the cost of traffic, pollution, and greenery is simply unfair. Save that money if you can, buy a house far away, where you can shop at a huge Loblaw’s, or Price Chopper with your kid in the shopping cart, and where you can have a barbeque in your backyard and mingle with your neighbour. And where your kid walks through safe streets, and has a childhood and your dog lives like a pet animal rather than quadruped, hairy roommate who needs to be walked every two hours.
These days due to lack of space buildings have either a small, or no drive way. People actually block traffic to go into their garage which sometimes opens on the main road! In some buildings, in order to leave, regardless of an emergency, a death, a deadline you have to take a right, rome around three blocks and find your way back to wherever you wanted to go. So the price you pay for already living in an overpriced building is that you cannot take a “left” when you get out or pay a fine. It helps traffic yes, it wastes your gas yes. But hey your building has a gym you don’t need membership for so yayi!
Some of these buildings are hilarious. My agent showed me an apartment recently where the building was under construction but people were already living in it. There was no concierge, or security. In fact the security desk hadn’t been made, but a clear white paint outlined where they would sit. Without exaggeration, I entered the apartment and to my right was a wall, and to my left was the kitchen. A further walk ahead to my right was the living room and to my left was the master bedroom. Between the door and the living room there is literally a walk way I couldn’t stretch open my hands in. What upset me the most was that the kitchen, which is the most frequently, visited area in the house (after the toilet) was shoved in a corner like they forgot to make it till the very end. This is just a glimpse of how small the apartments are being built currently. Their design is a square box which apparently they needed “foreign architects” for.
Regardless of my criticism, these condominiums are being bought. But mostly by foreign investors, or immigrants who escaped with their load of gold while their country was on the brink of collapse. But for those of you who worked hard and bought yourself an apartment downtown good for you, but there aren’t many of your kind. To want luxury is one thing, to afford it is another, and to provide it at the cost of traffic, pollution, and greenery is simply unfair. Save that money if you can, buy a house far away, where you can shop at a huge Loblaw’s, or Price Chopper with your kid in the shopping cart, and where you can have a barbeque in your backyard and mingle with your neighbour. And where your kid walks through safe streets, and has a childhood and your dog lives like a pet animal rather than quadruped, hairy roommate who needs to be walked every two hours.
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